Read this model IELTS essay on the topic: In spite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. This sample will help you understand how to write a good Band 7 essay.
In spite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry.
Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?
Band Score: 7 Bands
Despite the ever-growing field of agriculture, world hunger is still prevalent. Poverty and inefficient distribution of food are the major contributors to global hunger. However, some countermeasures can be taken to resolve this issue such as increasing employment opportunities and initiatives to provide food to the people in need on the private and national levels.
The advancements in the food industry have significantly increased over the years like better food quality, multiple varieties of fruits and vegetables, and sustainable agricultural practices. Even so, the number of people who are unable to feed themselves keeps rising. The reason for this is that most people cannot afford food items either due to unemployment or low income. The unemployment ratio is growing at an alarming rate and poses serious challenges on the economic sector of a country. Furthermore, unequal distribution of food prevents the poor from eating, since most countries that produce crops are not allocating a portion of that yield for the needy; instead, they export it with huge profits.
To address this issue, several actions can be taken. Firstly, the authorities should launch a campaign offering jobs to people with a normal background. Since a lot of people who are unable to eat food regularly are those with a less developed educational background, they would be eager to apply to these jobs which do not require high level skills. Secondly, governments should research on ways to allocate a portion of the agricultural products for the less fortunate and offer them at affordable rates. For instance, in Pakistan, the government opened food trucks in different areas where workers, who do not earn a lot, can eat a meal at discounted prices.
In conclusion, the food industry has been evolving for the better, but the problem of world hunger still exists. The main reasons are joblessness and an inefficient food supply, which can be resolved by adequate employment initiatives and systematic distribution of food.
Band Score Analysis:
- No issues in task response; the student has explained both questions to the full extent using relevant ideas.
- There are almost no grammatical mistakes.
- The use of linking words is accurate.
- The topic sentence of body paragraph one should have been more concise.
- There are some preposition mistakes
- There is a word choice error.
Band Score: 5.5 Bands
A numerous amount of people starves from hunger despite of several advancement in agriculture particularly due to poverty. This problem can be solved if government provides affordable food to support poor people.
Poverty is the leading cause of hunger among low social communities. In today’s world, people are unable to afford food due to everyday increase in prices. Although agriculture advancements are producing enough food, still people are facing hunger due to high-expensive food for low-income families. As a result, people can’t afford the food and the amount of hunger has increased in this era. For instance, a low-income family may face affording food when prices increase significantly, even when enough food is producing by their country.
Government can provide affordable food programs for low- income families by which they can enjoy the benefits of nutritious diet. By initiating these programs, poor people can afford the food at much lower prices than actual market prices. For instance, imagine a government introduce a program by which people will be able to buy the low price food instead of expensive food.
To conclude, government can help low income people by initiating affordable food programs even when there are advancements in agriculture. As a result, people will be able to enjoy healthy lifestyles.
Band Score Analysis:
- There are several subject-verb agreement errors.
- Word formation errors [amount of people, high expensive, face affording]
- There are no linking words.
- The topic sentence of body paragraph two needs improvement.
- There are some preposition mistakes
- There is a word choice error.
- The word count is too low: 210 words only
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Evaluated By: Hamza Ahmad
I’m an English language trainer with 3+ years of experience in IELTS, helping students achieve scores as high as an 8.0 overall band. A published contributor to Modern English Teacher (MET), I founded IELTS Prep and Practice to help students hit their target scores through proven strategies and personalized coaching.
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