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Read the sample essay on the topic: Advertising plays a significant role in boosting economic growth, but many people believe it has a negative impact on society.
Advertising plays a significant role in boosting economic growth, but many people believe it has a negative impact on society.
Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Band Score: 5.0 Bands
Publicity take an important role in economic growth, however there are two different views on the impact on society. I think it is a positive development because advertising can increase awareness of the companies and it can give to the client more information about other items.
One of the most important part of this topic is the awareness of the companies, so every company can illustrate to viewers their product. Having said that, if more viewers watch the publicity on the television, the percentage of income will starkly increase. Consequently, It is more difficult to find a way for getting in the publicity part of the TV because there are a lot of competitiveness.
Secondly, advertising can guide viewers in their decision-making. During movie commercial breaks, people are exposed to a wide range of products —such as children’s toys or televisions— which helps them make informed choices.
In my opinion, I find the role of advertising extremely interesting, all the companies fight again for trying to go inside the television because they know how important it is for their economy. In contrast, it is believable that society want to cut off the publicity, because the tv programmes often divide some films in different parts, just only for the break of the film.
In conclusion, the role in boosting economy growth was played by advertising even though it can have some different complaints.
Written by an IELTS Candidate
Band Score Analysis:
- Paraphrasing is not accurate.
- The student has used the wording ‘positive development’ that cannot be used in this specific essay type.
- The student needs to improve their topic sentences.
- The word count is lower than 250.
- The use of consequently is wrong.
- The second view [but many people believe it has a negative impact on society] is not discussed at all in the essay.
- There are different grammatical mistakes throughout the essay.
- The student has made a separate paragraph to give his opinion, which is fine, but the reasons [companies fight against] mentioned in it are totally different than what he mentioned in the introduction.
- The conclusion needs improvement as well.
Band Score: 6.0 Bands
Marketing plays an essential role in promoting economic progress. However, many people assume that promotion of products has unfavorable effects on our society. In my opinion, advertising creates a positive impact because it supports people in promoting their businesses and creates employment opportunities.
Marketing plays an essential role in economic growth by increasing company sales. By commercializing products, people will get familiar with the products present in markets. Several platforms such as television, Instagram, LinkedIn, and YouTube are currently in use by companies for promoting their products. Greater sales will cause them to expand their business. Therefore, the increase in profit margin will contribute to economic development. For instance, a pharmaceutical company that advertises new medicine through Tv Channels and social media can reach more potential customers, increasing in its sales and allowing it to expand their operation.
Commercializing products also creates harmful effects on society by unnecessary consumption. Promoting products persuades people to desire things which they do not actually need. As a result, people spend a large part of their income on inessential products that will increase the financial burden and stress as well.
From my perspective, the benefits of advertising outweigh its drawbacks because it contributes to the economy. Although advertising may encourage negative effects, its contribution to economic growth creates employment opportunities and income for workers.
To conclude, marketing plays a central role in upgrading economic progress. Although advertising has both negative and positive effects, I believe that commercializing has positive effect as it helps businessman in promoting their businesses and creating different jobs for people.
Written by an IELTS Candidate
Band Score Analysis:
- Introduction is well written with a clear opinion.
- There is a task response issue in body paragraph 1 or we can call it content lapse. The student mentioned the social media platforms when that sentence should have explained the result of people getting familiar with the new products, which is obviously ‘they buy those products and increase their sales of the company, thus contributing towards economic progress’. So, a sentence like this should have been written there, and then student should have mentioned those advertising platforms in the example.
- The topic sentences of both paragraphs are well written and clearly highligting the main purpose of the paragraph.
- The second body paragraph needs more explanation.
- There is also repetition of some words such as ‘create’.
- Some punctuation and subject-verb agreement mistakes exists as well.
- In order to move from 6 bands to 6.5 or above, the student needs to improve the task response, use complex vocabulary and sentence structures.
Check this page for more tips on IELTS Essays.
Evaluated By: Hamza Ahmad
I’m an English language trainer with 3+ years of experience in IELTS, helping students achieve scores as high as an 8.0 overall band. A published contributor to Modern English Teacher (MET), I founded IELTS Prep and Practice to help students hit their target scores through proven strategies and personalized coaching.
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