Read a model sample essay on the topic of: In recent years many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping.
In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping.
Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Band Score: 6.5 Bands
In recent years, the rise of large shopping centres and malls has led to the closure of many small local shops. In my opinion, this is a negative development because it reduces income opportunities for small business owners and contributes to environmental pollution.
To begin with, small shops have been severely affected as people prefer to visit larger malls. These shopping hubs provide a wide variety of products under one roof, which discourages customers from visiting multiple small outlets. Consequently, demand for goods in local shops declines, forcing owners to cut wages or even close their businesses. For instance, since the opening of Lyallpur Galleria in Faisalabad, numerous small eateries and clothing stores in the surrounding area have shut down due to heavy financial losses.
Furthermore, shopping malls have a significant negative impact on the environment. Most malls are located far from residential areas, which encourages people to travel by private vehicles, increasing air pollution. In addition, malls require huge amounts of energy and often rely on fuel-powered generators to meet their electricity needs. These generators emit harmful gases that further deteriorate air quality. For example, since the expansion of large malls in Lahore, the city’s Air Quality Index has dropped drastically, and it is now ranked among the most polluted cities in the world.
In conclusion, the growing preference for large shopping malls is a negative trend as it threatens the survival of small businesses and worsens environmental problems.to move away from newspapers and television. Therefore, I believe this shift towards the internet is a positive development.
Band Score: 6.0 Bands
In this digital era, online shopping is quite popular among young generation and most of the time they like to purchase products from online platforms. Therefore, some people believe that this trend will eventually result in the closure of every physical shop in the towns and cities. This essay is an attempt to analyze whether the online shopping will close shop from the town permanently or not in the upcoming paragraphs.
To commence with, there is no doubt that online shopping provides considerable advantages. Customers can purchase any product, anytime, from anywhere, at competitive prices. Moreover, online retailers provide a much wider range of products than any local shops. The home delivery of products and services save time and effort of the customers which they invest in other important tasks. For these reasons, increasing number of people are choosing to shop online, particularly for routine purchases.
In contrast, physical stores provide numerous benefits which cannot be replicated by online retailers. Firstly, customers can see, touch or try any products before purchasing them which is particularly important when buying clothes, shoes, furniture and expensive electronic gadgets. In addition to this , many people enjoy the social experience of visiting physical shops and local stores. Physical shops also provide immediate assistance from the sales staff and allow customers to receive their purchases without waiting for delivery.
In the final analysis, although online shopping will continue to expand and may cause some traditional shops to close, but I do not believe that physical stores will disappear in the future. Because both offers several advantages to the customers.
Written by an IELTS Candidate
Band Score Analysis:
- Paraphrasing is accurate.
- The student needs to state their opinion directly in the introduction, whether they agree or disagree, and then give two reasons for it.
- Never mention multiple reasons in a single paragraph.
- The student has followed the wrong structure.
- The student should always use ‘in conclusion’ or ‘to conclude’
- There are several punctuation mistakes as well.
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