Read a model sample essay on the topic of: In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. This essay will help you understand the correct structure and advanced vocabulary that you can use in the essay for higher scores.
In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.
Why might this be the case?
Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
Band Score: 6 Bands
Possessing a residential property than renting is essential for people in some countries. This is only because owning a house in home country provides personal security and peace of mind. I believe that owning a home is a positive development.
Home ownership provides greater security in many countries. Because, permanent residential houses provide greater accommodation and people don’t need to depend on the landlord to live in their houses. In contrast, in rental homes, people need to maintain their rights to live there. Moreover, landlord can ask you anytime to leave their home and may ask to increase their rent. As a result, homeowners can stay in their homes as long as they want and experiences less uncertainity. For instance, imagine a family living in a rented house, their landlord told them to leave the house in few days and they may have to find another house quickly, which can increase the considerable stress.
Homeownership can provide people with long-term financial stability. Because, it can become a valuable asset over time. If house value increases, homeowners can sell it anytime in future for money. This gives them financial stability and can also be beneficial for their children by inheriting it to them. For instance, imagine the people with their own homes. When homeowners pass away, the asset will be inherited to their children, which will give them easy access to accommodation.
To conclude, owning a home is particularly important in some countries than renting. It is mainly because having own residential property may facilitate people with personal security and mental relaxation. Therefore, I believe that owning a home is a positive development.
Band Score Analysis (6.0):
- The student has not given a reason to justify why it is a positive development.
- The wording used for making a comparison [residential property than renting is essential] in the introduction is not accurate.
- There are different word formation errors throughout the essay.
- There is an overuse of linking words in the first body paragraph.
- The sentences lack a connection between them [Because permanent residential houses provide greater accommodation and people don’t need to depend on the landlord to live in their houses]. It is unclear why the student mentioned this [people don’t need to…]
- The example of the second body paragraph is simply repetition of ideas without adding anything more in the essay.
- The student needs to learn the rules of subject-verb agreement.
- Punctuation and other grammar mistakes exist as well.
- The student mentioned the reason [peace of mind] in the introduction and then in the conclusion but never explained it in the essay.
Read this helpful blog on how to get 8 bands in IELTS writing.
Evaluated By: Hamza Ahmad
I’m an English language trainer with 3+ years of experience in IELTS, helping students achieve scores as high as an 8.0 overall band. A published contributor to Modern English Teacher (MET), I founded IELTS Prep and Practice to help students hit their target scores through proven strategies and personalized coaching.
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