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Read the sample essay on the topic: Some people say that in the digital age, theatres and cinemas are no longer important as people can watch all the entertainment they want online. Others argue that theatres and cinemas are still important both economically and culturally.
Some people say that in the digital age, theatres and cinemas are no longer important as people can watch all the entertainment they want online. Others argue that theatres and cinemas are still important both economically and culturally.
Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Band Score: 5.5 Bands
In my opinion, theatres and cinema are still important as people earn a lot of money by selling tickets and help people to socialize with each other.
Online entertainment is becoming common in contemporary world. Digital entertainment allows us to watch at anywhere through various entertainment websites and apps such as Netflix, Disney, and Amazon Prime. Beside these, online entertainment has given the people an opportunity to spend less money by watching movies, tv shows and cartoons at home. Moreover, online entertainment is becoming very popular among young generation as they prefer to enjoy entertainment by staying at home.
Theatres and cinema are economically popular among people. Cinemas are earning money by selling tickets for movies and shows as well. They are contributing economically in society by running businesses such as earning money from cinemas accommodates different workers working in the cinema. Furthermore, cinemas are culturally important as well because they provide people with a place to share their language, traditions, and cultural values among different communities. For example, a locally produced tv shows and movies shown in cinema helps people to understand the culture of that country easily.
In conclusion, although digital watching is becoming common by passing days, cinemas and theaters are still pivotal both economically and culturally as they gives the opportunity to connect with people from different communities.
Written by an IELTS Candidate
Band Score Analysis:
- Poor introduction; the student has not written the paraphrased question statement
- There are some missing words or wrong choice of words [cinemas accomodates different workers] [to watch movies anywhere]
- The last two sentences of the body paragraph are repeating the same idea, so these two sentences should have been combined, and then an example should have been added.
- There are several punctuation mistakes [missing commas and articles] and subject-verb agreement errors.
- Low word count: 224
- Topic sentences need improvement.
Band Score: 6.5 Bands
People have contrasting opinions about the significance of theaters and cinemas. Some say that they are not needed anymore because we can entertain ourselves online, while others think they have economic and cultural importance. In my opinion, cinemas and theaters are still an integral part of our society as they provide jobs to people and a chance to learn about the local culture.
On the one hand, people think that the development of online entertainment platforms has made cinemas and theaters obsolete. We can get every kind of entertainment online nowadays, as it is free and more readily available. People can watch their favourite programs at any time by searching online from anywhere with just one click. For example, Netflix is one platform that offers many movies and TV series free of charge, and people can watch them even while sitting on a train.
On the other hand, there are many people who consider cinemas and theaters to be still important. Firstly, cinemas are a kind of business. People watch movies by paying for tickets, and these earnings go towards supporting the employees and supporting the economy of the country as well. Moreover, theaters provide a kind of entertainment where local performers showcase their skills through different shows. These tabloids often contain local folklore which is passed to the next generations over time. Thus, theaters have cultural importance as well.
In conclusion, cinemas and theaters are important for our culture and economy as well, but some people have the opposite view, as they believe that we no longer need them because every kind of entertainment is available online. However, I agree with the former viewpoint, as those provide employment chances to the locals and pass on local stories that are historically important to the next generation.
Written by an IELTS Candidate
Band Score Analysis:
- The student has accurately paraphrased the question statement and wrote a good introduction.
- The opinion is clear with supporting reasons.
- The topic sentence of each body paragraph accurately covers the main argument covered in the paragraph.
- The student has used different grammatical structures.
- The conclusion accurately covers the main reasons discussed in the essay.
- The student has used the linking words and other cohesive devices which makes the essay more cohesive.
- In order to get 7 bands in this essay, the student should use advanced C1 level vocabulary, avoid repetition of words, and introduce more complex sentence structures.
Check this page for more tips on IELTS Essays.
Evaluated By: Hamza Ahmad
I’m an English language trainer with 3+ years of experience in IELTS, helping students achieve scores as high as an 8.0 overall band. A published contributor to Modern English Teacher (MET), I founded IELTS Prep and Practice to help students hit their target scores through proven strategies and personalized coaching.
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