Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities – Band 5.5 to 7 Essay

Quick Links: 5.5 Band Sample, 6.0 Band Sample

Read the sample essay on the topic: Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Learn how to write a high-scoring IELTS essay using correct guidelines and structure.

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Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

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Band Score: 5.5 Bands

A growing number of people work in extended shifts and quit spare time activities. Although, working overtime gives good financial stability but It also creates negative effects on people physical and mental health.

Working double shifts is becoming extremely common. In today’s world, many people strive for financial stability. It is because working for long hours could provide better income, which will help people to support themselves. Therefore, they will be able to finance their education, houses, and other needs. Moreover, individuals with higher income save money for their future needs and unexpected circumstances such as health issues and unemployment. For instance, a person who works double shifts use his money efficiently whenever he gets any health emergency and unemployment as well.

Extended shifts are having a bad effect on individuals health. People are working non-stop to meet their financial expenses. They have extremely little time for exercise, jogging, and leisure activities to relax themselves. Due to this reason, they consistently forget about their health and after certain times, they caught a sudden disease such as weakened immunity. For instance, in European countries, people usually work in double shifts and will end with iron deficiency due to . Moreover, it can also effect individual mental health. People working overtimes do not make enough time to relax their minds. Therefore, many individuals will get into serious mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.

To conclude, numerous people strive overtime and leave their free time. It gives people greater financial stability. However, it also creates bad effect on individual physical  and mental health

Written by an IELTS student

Band Score Analysis:

• No need for the preposition [people work in* extended] [working for* long hours]
• According ot the question, they don’t QUIT the activities; they have LITTLE time for activities. So, it would be wrong to write [and quit spare time activities], paraphrasing issue.
• There are punctuation mistakes [missing commas and articles]
• Wrong use of ‘although ‘, when we use it, we don’t use ‘but’ with it.
• Position is unclear [are advantages more or disadvantages]
• Never make the essay a gender specific one [shift use his, use thier]
• There are some subject-verb agreement mistakes.
• The student should mention 1 advantage and 2 disadvantages or vice versa.
• Missing word at the end [iron deficiency due to]
• Conclusion needs improvement; use better wording that is an exact synonym.

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Band Score: 6.0 Bands

Nowadays, an increasing number of people are spending most of their time at work, which leaves them with limited opportunities to relax and enjoy their leisure activities. This essay is an attempt to analyze whether the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages in upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with, one of the major positive factor of working for extended hours is that people can get more money and improve their financial situation. For instance, employees who work overtime may receive high salaries which they can use for bill payments, support their families and so on. Moreover, spending more time at work can sometimes help people to get more experience and improve their chances of promotion.

In contract, when people working for long time then their physical and mental wellbeing affected badly and they face number of difficulties such as stress, depression, anxiety, tiredness and so on. In addition to this, a lack of leisure time also causes relationship breakdowns because people do not have enough time to spend with their partner, family or children. Even their children and partners also face loneliness and may be indulged in bad habits. They miss several special moments with their parents, partner and children which also badly damaged emotional attachment.

In the final analysis, although working for long periods of time make your career brighter and higher income. But , its negative impact on health, relationships or overall quality of life are more significant. Therefore, maintaining a balance between leisure and work life is essential for the individual’s.

Written by an IELTS student

Band Score Analysis:

• The student should not use phrases such as ‘this essay is an attempt to analyze’; instead, mention directly if the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or not.
• The second advantage needs more explanation.
• There are punctuation mistakes
• Spelling mistakes [in contract]
• We do not have to write a solution [Therefore, maintaining a balance between leisure and work life is essential for the individual].
• Position is unclear [advantage outweigh disadvantage or not?]
• Student has not followed the correct structure.
• There are some word formation errors [long time then* their – use: long time than their] [badly damaged* – use: badly damage]
• There are some subject-verb agreement mistakes.
• To get 6.5 or 7 bands in this essay, the student needs to get rid of all the grammar mistakes and improve the explanation or task response.

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